To Be in the Light

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Maeve. twenty one. architecture student.
This is my collection of likes and inspiration.
"At the risk of sounding self-indulgent, I self-reflect my way through life. Especially when faced with people or scenarios of an epic proportion on the scale of tolerance. Tonight my introversion kicked in big time. I could feel the weight of my bones straining under blankets of idle chit-chat, being overly sociable and other extroverted actions. I do not relish small talk. Nothing more bores me to tears than listening to stories about girl A’s best friend’s boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend. So when you start the tirade that is your superficially mind-numbing gossip, forgive me if I tune you out to prevent my already meagre IQ from dissipating. When I say it’s not you, it’s me, I mean it. I cannot work with you because I do not only demand more of you than you can give, but I demand a certain x-factor from you too that you can’t provide me with if you don’t have. The extra edge is not something that magically appears from hard work; it’s innate. It’s tiring trying to fit people into the very specific round peg I have so I’d rather we not start. Compromise might make the world go round but it hinders mine from making any satisfying progress.
I need my quiet time. In other words if I end conversations abruptly, trail off mid sentence or look disinterested after awhile, know that you need to back off from my personal bubble while I rebuild my threshold for cloyingly overemphasised social niceties. My subconscious knows things before I do. If you find me giving you the slip one day when we were merrily chatting the day before, I probably realised when night eased into the AM that you weren’t one I could see myself sitting in comfortable silence with in five years - so I did what I do best: I leave the friendship hanging to save both you and I some time from mingling at future parties pretending we adore each other’s cocktail dresses with oohs and aahs. I see through the best worked PR plan and the most impeccably crafted smile.
I trust my intuition more than I trust anyone else. It is one of my assets so when you question my choices, I take it not only as an insult to my character but an underestimation of sorts - kind of, ‘so you doubt I actually thought this through carefully?’ That probably won’t bode well for our friendship unless we’re looking at being friendly strangers. I’m incredibly self-aware so there’s no need for you to point out the obvious. I probably spotted it years before your shrewd observation, darling, and the fact that I haven’t done anything to change it probably means you shouldn’t care either. Of course all this means I’m set for the life of a hermit. Which wouldn’t be the worst scenario. A damn shame society loves to build negative connotations around those who recharge best from being alone."
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Close your eyes, clear your heart, let it go…: So I am an Introvert

 

(Source: graceyeoh)


4 months ago  / 168 notes / reblog
  1. despicable-g reblogged this from creatingaquietmind and added:
    I do not relish small talk. Nothing more bores me to tears than listening to stories about girl A’s best friend’s...
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  6. tobeinthelight reblogged this from creatingaquietmind and added:
    Close your eyes, clear your heart, let it go…: So I am an Introvert
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